I realised something the other day with an earth shattering clang and it really unnerved me, my mind is split in two when it comes to how I speak to myself throughout the day. When I'm at the gym I am the most positive force, pushing myself to work harder, run faster, lift more and do one more set. So how do I go from always being really kind and encouraging at the gym to speaking to myself in an appalling way when it comes to my creative work. I cast doubt, sabotage ideas and try to smother anything I want to try that is new or groundbreaking. I am the first person to point out my flaws, take the piss and just generally dive into self deprecation in any conversation, it's always done with humour but it's just that - it's always done. So why, why do I spend the vast majority of my time ripping shreds off and trying to silence my head? The only answer I can give is that I have spent over 15 years trying to repair the relationship I have with my body and really worked on seeing it in a positive light but I've not seen it as a priority to nurture and encourage my mindset for my creative work. It's probably weird that I've even separated them at all but there you go. Are body and mind really that separate and if so, is it possible to heal both of those relationships at the same time?
At the end of the day it's not something that's going to be fixed overnight, in fact it's going to take years of hard work to change BUT it's on my radar now and for that I am absolutely grateful. I choose the road to self discovery trusting that it will pay off. Day by day, little by little I hope I can make a change, inevitably fail a little but then keep trying all the same and I sincerely hope you can too. We're all trying to do the best we can but today I'm going to choose to do so with a positive voice, are you with me?
Bustier - Acler, Skirt - Michael Lo Sordo, Heels - Manolo Blahnik